Henry's got it going on....

Flame -retardant toys a hazard?

State Rep. Ehrlich is worried about the levels of chemicals in children's toys.


Clearly Tickle me Elmo is doing his part in keeping those chemicals down... way down...

On this day... April 9

Randy Quaid was born in 1954. I, for one will never forget his stirring performance in this:



or....



or...



or this?

Drunk teen drives while breastfeeding baby

Drunk teen drives while breastfeeding baby

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She also had a suspended license, and was driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle.

She faces charges of failing to provide a breath sample (she was so drunk she couldn't) , driving while suspended in an unregistered and uninsured car, failing to give way and driving with an unrestrained child.

And for your viewing pleasure...

Man with gun not charged...woman with purse gets felony.

According to the CBS news site :

A man accidentally shot himself in the leg at a fast food drive-through on Tuesday... While cleaning his gun (at a drive through?)...

But no charges were filed because he didn't need a permit.

Because it wasn't concealed (although how do they know that?) ...Or perhaps it was because he only shot himself?

Shooting yourself in the leg isn't always without consequence. According to NBC Sports The Giants released Plaxico Burress from his contract, after he accidentally shot himself in the leg... with an unlicensed gun... in a New York City nightclub.


And in an unrelated story... A woman was jailed on aggravated assault with a deadly weapon when she hit a deputy in the nose with her purse.

Which surprises me. The man who shot off a gun wasn't charged with anything, however the woman with the purse was charged with a felony.

The bottom line I guess is the guy shot himself and the gun wasn't concealed... While the woman hit a deputy in the nose with a purse weighing over three three pounds (big perfume bottle in there...which was what? A concealed weapon?)

I guess it's best not to mess with a woman and her purse...



Because woman can be so mean...




Really mean...

James Bond

I understand why there is a new James Bond and I like Daniel Craig but...I really miss the humor that Roger Moore added. To me it was that snarky thing that 'was' James Bond.

And he thought he was Bond, James Bond too.

I'd like to see this guy tackle Bond, James Bond.

Hugh Grant

No?

ok, how 'bout Lego Bond?

Better than zoloft....

Wow... It's fast paced. Raucous. Funny. Disturbing.

Why it's Cat-tastic...



*No animals were dressed in the production of this video*

Pointless...and funny....

World News Online has found the most pointless use of hair extensions (if you don't count the Tyra Banks show, America's Next Top Model) .

Check out what people do with Horse Hair at that link or...


If not check out what this woman does with the fur left over from cat grooming ....I didn't know there was such a thing as cat grooming but apparently there are side benefits...




If you thought she was a crazy cat lady.. Oh no! She pales.

Bridezillas are so annoying...

But the show on WEtv is like watching an accident... You can't turn away!



I can't help myself....



.... It's a sickness, I tell ya....

Ripping your hair out by the roots...

See when this debuted in the late 80's and it sounded like a cool idea...



The reality was something much darker... more sadistic... And kind of funny.



But I never thought I guy would use it...





good thing woman have babies...

Pole captures convicts as they elude the police...

Carbs are annoying me...

And I'm really trying not to eat them... I just had some Tofu Shirataki Noodles (Called Miracle Noodles sometimes).

Kelly tries them and addresses the 'authentic aroma' issue but says it doesn't smell much to her. Hmmmm... I found them to be so sticky on opening the pack I through out three bags before I goggled them and found out they were supposed to smell like the inside of a garbage disposal. Now ... on rinsing... that does subside.



Hungry Girl talks about them too...

"We're gonna be straight with you here. We had completely given up on pasta until we were introduced to the wonders of Tofu Shirataki. Made of tofu and yam flour (it tastes better than it sounds), these noodlicious creations are high in fiber, VERY low in calories, and have ZERO points (if you're counting) for the entire two-serving package! It's essentially "pasta" with hardly any carbs or calories. That's complete and total insanity! Add these to your favorite soups, salads, or anywhere else you'd normally use pasta. We cannot possibly begin to explain to you how much we love and cherish these noodles."

I like them... Besides the texture which I actually like... and having to rinse them... The nutrition stats are fabulous compared to pasta.

Regular Pasta
Serving Size: 2 oz.
Calories: 210
Fat: 1g
Carbs: 42g
Protein: 7g
Fiber: 2g

Shirataki (at twice the serving size)
Serving Size: 4 oz.
Calories: 20
Fat: .5g
Carbs: 3g
Protein: 1g
Fiber: 2g

Pretty amazing. They are available at some stores like Wegmans (Wegman's is the best store ever) and Whole Foods and places online. It pays too look around locally so you don't have to pay shipping.

And if you find you can't eat them, they are great for knitting! Who knew?

Live TV is a dangerous thing...

and...



and... okay this isn't live but...

Diet Plans - Nutrisystem

I mute the commercials. I know a lot of people like Marie Osmond but I can't take those commercials anymore. First of all, I am sure she didn't pay for that plan - which for poor slobs like you and me, costs about $300 a month. (Although Nutrisystem says the plan costs no more than it normally does to eat for a month... or something like that... Who knew the plan was as cheap as Ramen?) Second, I'm sure they paid her. Third, I'm just sick of all their celeb endorsements in general.

Is that fair advertising? Don't you have to say the person is paid? Isn't that a bit like someone who testifies at a trial for a lighter sentence? You know what I mean? They have a motivation to say what they are saying... Or in the same Law and Order vein - a paid expert who will testify to anything as long as the check is made out to CASH?

Over at mental_floss.com I found this info:

Marie Osmond also shills for Nutrisystem. What the TV testimonials don’t mention, however, is that at about the same time Marie signed up for Nutrisystem, she also joined the Choose to Move program. And then she landed a spot on Dancing with the Stars, which she admitted required six hour per day workouts for several months that left her breathless and dripping with perspiration. While the Nutrisystem foods must have helped, the relentless exercise also contributed to her losing an amazing 40 lbs. in five months.

Yeah now that makes sense to me...

And about Jillian Barberi... another "success" story

Jillian Barberi boasts of losing 41 lbs. on the plan. What the fine print fails to mention is that in her “before” photos, Jillian is pregnant. Alert viewers in the Los Angeles area spotted her wearing the same dress (in the same physical shape) on a local morning TV show while gushing about her expected baby. Once baby Ruby was born, Barberi not only went on the Nutrisystem plan, she also hired a personal trainer (according to an interview in People) to get herself back in shape.

I find the information

fascinating... and thanks to mental floss for publishing it. Doesn't that smack of wearing false eye lashes in a mascara commercial?

Apparently the Federal Trade Commission has finally had enough....Er. Well had enough in 2004.... (Me too.) when they launched their “Big Fat Lie” Initiative...

What happened to that, by the way?

According to the Chicago Tribune all is not lost... and notes:

The Federal Trade Commission is reviewing new guidelines to product endorsements. They include:

•Consumer testimonials would have to be substantiated and ads would have to include generally expected results. Endorsers, not just advertisers, could be held liable for deceptive claims. "You'd have to say not only is it extreme, but how extreme is it," the FTC's Richard Cleland said.

•Celebrities who talk up a product in an interview must disclose if they are getting paid for the promotion. Celebrities who endorse products would have to disclose if they have an ownership interest.

•Expert endorsers, like doctors, must have experience in the product area they are endorsing. If they don't, the limits of their expertise must be stated. For instance, an ophthalmologist identified only as a doctor could not be portrayed as an expert physician endorsing a hearing aid.

•Bloggers who get free products and then endorse them on their blogs would have to make it clear they got the products free.

About damn, time... and for your viewing pleasure...

SPAM!

According to Wiki "Spam is the abuse of electronic messaging systems (including most broadcast mediums, digital delivery systems) to send unsolicited bulk messages indiscriminately."

But what is Spam really?

Well, according to Hormel SPAM® is a:

family of products is all around us. In sandwiches, salads, mac and cheese; with eggs, cheese or pineapples; sliced, diced, baked or fried - the combinations are endless.

No single product in history is better known for its heroics during wartime, its accomplishments during peacetime and its popularity during mealtime than SPAM® classic. After more than seven decades in the marketplace, the SPAM® family of products is still the tasty, high-quality kitchen staple made of 100 percent pure pork and ham that the world has come to know and love.

The SPAM® family of products, conveniently packaged in the famous blue and yellow pull-top cans, offer a distinct savory and salty-sweet taste that has been enjoyed by millions for generations, making it a pop culture icon that has stood the test of time.

And as to the war connection they say:

The first can of SPAM® luncheon meat was produced in 1937 in Austin, Minn. From the beginning, SPAM® was unique—it stood alone in its low price, convenience and delicious taste. It immediately became America’s favorite luncheon meat, and by 1941, 40 million pounds of SPAM® had been sold.

With America’s entry into World War II, SPAM® luncheon meat was called into action overseas. With Allied forces fighting to liberate Europe, we provided 15 million cans of luncheon meat to troops every week. SPAM® luncheon meat became an essential item in soldiers’ diets, often serving as the last line of defense between battle-weary soldiers and starvation. Following the war, world leaders the likes of Dwight Eisenhower, Margaret Thatcher and Nikita Khrushchev all credited SPAM® luncheon meat for its role in the Allied victory.

Spam's quite a mouth-full! What a dilemma... What is Spam? Is it an annoying, unwanted ad? Or a low price, convenient and delicious treat?

Google seems to have solved the Spam/Spam® question.

It's both. Whenever I open my GMAIL Spam folder I get a recipe for SPAM!

                       SPICY SPAM KABOBS

Recipe By     :
Serving Size  : 4    Preparation Time :0:00
Categories    : Main dish                        Meats

Amount  Measure       Ingredient -- Preparation Method
--------  ------------  --------------------------------
1/4   c            Lemon juice
3       tb           Minced onion
1       tb           Olive oil
1       t            Dried leaf thyme
1                    Garlic clove, minced
1/2   t            Whole oregano leaves
1/4   t            Red pepper flakes
16                    Pea pods
1       cn           Pineapple chunks packed in
                   -light juice, drained (8 oz)
1       cn           SPAM Luncheon Meat, cut into
                   -24 cubes (12 oz)
1                    Red bell pepper, cut into
                   -1″ pieces
4       c            Hot cooked rice

Combine first 7 ingredients in 9x12″ dish. Wrap pea pods around
pineapple chunks. Alternately thread SPAM cubes, pineapple chunks,
and bell pepper pieces on eight skewers. Place in dish with marinade.
Cover and marinade 2 hours, turning occasionally. Grill kabobs over
medium-hot coals 10 minutes, turning occasionally. Or, broil 5″ from
heat source 8-10 minutes, turning occasionally. Serve with hot cooked
rice.  (Recipe Source)

For your viewing pleasure, I give you....

My house looks like Who did it and ran?

Small Houses, Big Style is a most amazing show. How people live in matchbox sized places that work, is beyond me. But I covet the ability to do that ... and the places.

Clutter is beyond annoying....

I feel for this woman...



I sure wish Meryl Starr's TV show was on in the US. I'm drowning.

I do like Clean House
Do you have the messiest house in America?



But it's a funny show...No really. It is...

And my used one with 153,000 miles cost $3000?

According to US NEWS AND WORLD REPORT "

The least expensive new car in America can be purchased for under $10,000, manages better than 30 mpg on the highway and earned very solid safety scores from the insurance industry.

It's the 2009 Nissan Versa. Kicking Tires explains, "The new Nissan Versa 1.6 sedan is the cheapest new car in the States, with an MSRP of $9,990." The model available for that price is a stripper. It's "powered by a 107-hp, 1.6-liter four-cylinder. That's 15 hp less than the regular Versa 1.8, but it's still competitive." It "comes with a standard five-speed manual" transmission. A four-speed automatic is available, but it bumps the cost up to $11,990. Even air conditioning is just optional on the Versa 1.6, costing an additional $1,000. The car is more fuel-efficient than other Versas, with EPA ratings of "26/34 mpg city/highway in the manual and 26/33 with the automatic. That's competitive with everything in the economy segment except the Yaris and the Smart ForTwo."

The deal significantly undercuts other very-inexpensive new cars. Jalopnik reports, "The cheapest cars currently are the 2009 Chevy Aveo ($12,625), 2008 Kia Rio ($12,145) and 2009 Hyundai Accent ($11,070), putting the Versa well below these competitive models." The car is also available with zero percent financing in November, and with a $500 discount for college students."

On the other hand and what's really cheap....

CNN Reports on what's really the cheapest car. "NEW DELHI (CNN) -- India's Tata Motors Monday announced it would begin delivery of the Nano, billed as the world's "cheapest car", in July.

The four-door Nano is currently being built in "limited numbers" at a company plant in the north Indian hill state of Uttrakhand.

Tata Motors, however, aims to make 350,000 Nanos a year from 2010 at another unit elsewhere in the country, a company statement said.

"It is to the credit of the team at Tata Motors that a car once thought impossible by the world is now a reality. I hope it will provide safe, affordable, four-wheel transportation to families who till now have not been able to own a car. We are delighted in presenting the Tata Nano to India and the world," company chief Ratan Tata told a news conference in Mumbai to announce the "commercial launch" of the $2,000 car.

Tata Motors said the Nano would initially be available through bookings or reservations filed on a request form priced around $6, or Rs 300. Tata will accept the bookings from April 9 to April 25.Within 60 days of the closure of bookings, Tata Motors will process and announce the allotment of 100,000 cars in the first phase of deliveries, through a computerized random selection procedure, it added.

"Deliveries will commence from July 2009," said the company."

This is just wrong....

According to Snopes there really is a town called Fuc*ing, Austria and they have a serious tourist problem. Sign theft.

Signs

I feel your pain...

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Live TV... Gotta love it...

Home shopping channels are a well spring of... well, lots of things...

not annoying at all...

annoying ....and horrifying...

Dieting annoys me # 2

Dieting annoys me # 1

Scales annoy me.

Do you have some extra spare change?

I suggest shopping at Stupid.com for the beleaguered executives who are in the news lately and feeling unloved. Maybe a gift will help and the choices are endless.

Since any money I have will somehow magically find its way into a bonus check for some exec at AIG; I suggest that you have fun with your money before that happens.

Send them some love in the form of Uncle Oinker's Savory BACON FLAVORED MINTS.


Much cooler than a spa jaunt, I say. And way manlier.


If that doesn't quite say it for you how 'bout these?



Sort of the candy version of "eat chocolate" if you get my drift...

Here's a close-up.

What's Tazzy doing now?

Today Tazzy's hangin' 10 on the Banzai Pipeline with guess who?

Why good pets go bad...

You can buy this here

And in the vein of cosmetics and surgery I give you...

Thank you to Awful Plastic Surgery for this.

They say:

Adrien Arpel’s products keep her young - yeah, right! She is almost 70 years old and selling anti-aging and other beauty products on a popular cable channel. Whenever you see her on the network, her lips are appear stuffed to the limit, her aging cheeks are weirdly plump for someone her age, and her upper face does not move when she talks.

It's something that has always bugged me a lot. I think people who sell cosmetics should be required to disclose surgery *IF* they are saying their products keep them young or implying it.

I've always felt this was a very deceptive situation.

Most annoying song ever? You be the judge....

I find it weird and disturbing but I'm open. Send me your votes and I'll post them if they are at least as annoying.

I feel like I'm being pecked to death by a chicken...


***** UPADATE UPDATE UPDATE*****


El, I never heard the song. Probably because I spend my time in cars listening to self-improvement tapes but when I heard it.. Oh yeah. And Michael Buckley totally agrees with you... I am adding this... Found this on his What the buck channel on Youtube...

Platstic Surgery bugs me a lot....

... First... I don't mind the little touch-up things... or even some botox although I think that's kind of weird. And if I get enough donations I might even do some freshening up...

But when I see someone on TV and it looks like the only instructions they gave to their plastic (Fabulous turn of a phrase, by the way) surgeon was "Photoshop me!" I take umbrage.

And that's when I head to my fave site for checking them kinds of thangs out. Awful Plastic Surgery

Remember Gilligan's Island? Remember the Ginger vs. Maryann controversy? Who was prettier? It's moot.



Awful Plastic Surgery says:

Tina Louise played sexpot Ginger on Gilligan’s Island about 40 years ago. She tries to look as if she has not aged a day since, but it is not working at all. After so many surgeries to tighten, lift, peel, and hold back aging skin, Tina kinds looks like a burn victim. Her birth date is 1930-something and she definitely looks every day of it. When you’re 70, you can’t tighten your way back to 35; it is just not possible and very damaging when attempted.



Tina looks like someone to me... At first I thought it was Skeletor but I looked up pics of Skeletor and it's not... Leave me a comment who this looks like... PLEASE! Or it's going to drive me crazy all day.

********* UPDATE ***********

One vote for Mrs. Bates - Norman's Mother



If you're wondering what Dawn Wells has been up too:



And when she's not working with vegetables (and I don't mean The View):



And speaking of Mrs. Howell who was in her 60's when the show was shooting...

She looked rockin' good in her 60's...

Whatever, Martha....

Okay, this isn't about Martha. I actually like Martha. Is she annoying? Well, more to some than others but...

...what I want to know is...

WHY IS THIS A SHOW?



I suppose they think they are funny... the way girlfriends will have inside giggle fests with each other about other people....that are not funny. I have never, ever, ever watched this show. And now seeing this youtube clip... Yeah, I was right.

Get a job. Making fun of your mother isn't a job (or I'd be really really wealthy), nor is making fun of your friend's mother.

Feel free to not watch the whole video. It's beyond annoying.

And now for Oprah....

On this day...

On this day in history David Frost was born (1939). He was most recently featured in Frost/Nixon... but I for one will never forget this stirring interview.

McDonalds and The Food Network Annoy me

The food network called it a glitch. According to The Free Dictionary
A glitch ( (glch) as it were) has these three definitions:

1. A minor malfunction, mishap, or technical problem; a snag: a computer glitch; a navigational glitch; a glitch in the negotiations.

2. A false or spurious electronic signal caused by a brief, unwanted surge of electric power.

3. Astronomy A sudden change in the period of rotation of a neutron star.

My guess is the food network is saying that the McDonalds clip appearing from out of nowhere in the middle of the show was a result of #3... As in "We don't know how the McDonalds logo appeared on screen but we think is has to do with a sudden change in the period of rotation of a neutron star. And we are sticking to that."

Personally, once the Food Network aired Dweezil and Lisa it was over.

McDonald's said they don't do subliminal advertising - which isn't exactly true because they did.... Even if pinky-swear the clip just inserted itself mid-show by magic.

I guess the secret to happiness is being easily pleased...

... or perhaps it's having lived with a rodent infestation and than forever counting your blessings. Blessings like can openers... Although calling QVC to order a can opener would not be my first call after seeing mice prancing around on my canned goods.

Annoying Colon Cleanse Infommercial...

...Words escape me....

This does not annoy me...

and as aside.... no animals were dressed to make this video

Why cats shouldn't wear clothes...

Dressed up cats annoy me...

Princess Cassie lives in Morristown, NJ and loves getting dressed up.

Gee, ya think?

What's Tazzy doing now?

Tazzy is at the ATM
machine making a
withdrawal.

Maxi-pads annoy me...

Or rather that I can never find the same one twice.... see explanation below:

RUFFLES AND WINGS AND THONGS! OH! MY!

I was up to seventy-three before I lost count. I was standing alone in the feminine hygiene aisle looking for the same kind of-What do they call it? - Protection that I bought last month. I couldn't believe the overwhelming number of options there seemed to be. But there they were in all their pastel-packaged glory.I can not only get pads, but pads with wings and pads with wings that flex and pads with wings with Velcro. If I don't want pads with wings, I can get pads with ruffles (No doubt for my more feminine-yet-formal pad needs) and I can get pads for thongs (Which I assume are not pads for my shower shoes). There are hospital-style pads that protect all four walls (where ever they are) and in the future, I will always think of this pad when I hear the term padded-room. I can get pads in petite or plus sizes. You know its funny, I had always assumed some things didn't grow no matter how much weight you gained; apparently I was mistaken.

The choices multiplied as I stood in the feminine hygiene aisle perusing the pads. Do I want the pads that are thin yet long? And is the perfect long thin pad, the super long thin pad, the maxi long thin pad or the overnight long thin pad with baking soda? And why baking soda? Why not basil?

But my options didn't end with the pads themselves because I needed a carrying case . Some open silently ("Shhhh!" Is printed on the package) for special evenings when I will be needing my pads in quiet theatres, I suppose. This is also explained in French and Spanish; because apparently the French and Spanish need pads in quiet theatres, too.

As I stood transfixed by all my options, I wondered if they had really exhausted every possible pad permutation. Have the preeminent pad people really given this enough thought? Maybe the next winged-wonder just over the horizon?

Next month when I can't find the same pad I bought this month-And I assure you I won't -Will I find a collectable pad instead? When I'm lost in a sea of pastel packages, will a Limited-Edition Franklin Mint Collectable Pad catch my eye? Or will it be the I.D. Pad with clear slot for my picture. A pad with no wings but lots of Velcro so I can wrap it around my upper arm to display my identification. Or will it be the handy pre-printed business card pads? If someone hands me their card, I could hand them a pad. Better yet, I could Velcro it to them.

It's hard to get my mind around the need for all these pads. It's even harder to imagine perfectly normal people brainstorming new pad-ideas. I am, however, certain that in a top-secret facility somewhere in the desert southwest, lab-coated technicians are discussing it at this very moment. And I am equally convinced that at that top-secret facility the feminine hygiene companies are helping the government manage nuclear waste because not even the Nuclear Regulatory Agency fights leaks with the gusto of the pad people.

My musings were interrupted when a pale, dazed woman asked, "Ever tried these?" Shoving a pink package at me.
"I dunno," I told her.
She sighed. "Me either." And after giving me a defeated look, she shuffled off to laxatives.

At least, now know I'm not the only woman who feels like this in the feminine hygiene aisle. All of us feel this way, none of us knows where to look , and each pad really is clamoring for attention.

The pads have beaten me. Uncle. From now on Im sending my kid in to get them. And while I stand there and agonize over which one I had last month, and which one to get this month, and which one might meet my needs better. I have no doubt that my 17-year-old son will make it in and out of the store in 7 seconds flat (albeit scarred for life). And I'm betting whatever he gets will work out fine.

Platinum Weddings

I'm so tired of spoiled, rich people (redundant, I know).

And ashamed that I watch the television show Platinum Weddings. I'm going to flail myself now... and check to see when it's on.

Cosmetic ads...

For a long time I've been annoyed by celebs that sell products from under unlined (read: botoxed), surgically enhanced faces. Saying they use these products (from silicone filled lips) and if I use them I can look like them.

And I've been annoyed by make-up companies that hawk the same old stuff in new containers ... the only difference? Photoshop and some rockin' make up artists.

Looks like L'oreal got snagged a while back. In the Daily Mail

"L'Oréal told the ASA (* note -Advertising Standards Authority, a UK organization) which deemed the ads misleading, its product made the tips of lashes more visible, giving a lengthening effect.

Penelope Cruz was wearing a few individual false lashes inserted into her natural lashes to fill in the gaps in her natural lashes for a consistent standard of lashes."

Know what I say to that?

COW PADDIES....

Lots of things bug the hell out of me....

I need to vent....

Bad hair days annoy me